recovery

it is beginning to get colder now. how is it possibly the middle of autumn already? it's interesting how my workload so heavily influences my concept of time...but i love the colder months too much to care.

so far, i've learnt a lot about myself this year. firstly - there are actually people i can lean on. & in fact the length of time i have known them is by no means an indicator of how much they care. nor is how many times i've been there for them. <3 ironically, it's refreshing to be the one falling apart.

& secondly, under no circumstances should i feel like i "owe" anyone to the point that i endure verbal abuse and emotional blackmail. i don't need to do anything. nor should i be expected to. i shouldn't feel like a horrible person, and more importantly, i shouldn't be made to feel that way either.
there are other things i can waste my energy/thoughts on.

one of my friend's sister passed away from cancer last year & i've become to know the family and friends in the past few months. hearing about how much they hurt, watching them soldier on and help each other repair is enough to put my life into perspective.

& there is no need to go through everything alone. open up and give your friends the opportunity to be there and show how much they love you. ♥

on another note, i watched a movie with some pretty scary scenes that should have been a bit too close for comfort...but i was okay. i was so surprised, i managed to sit through a fairly sick/horrific movie in good spirits. strange but true.